How to Have Good Manners

To present a good impression, you must act like you weren't raised in a barn! It is difficult dealing with those having no manners or concern for others. A huge societal issue is a general lack of respect for what has been taught in history regarding human concern and compassion towards acquaintances. Also known as good manners.


Steps

• Think things out before speaking, especially if you are poor at finding the right words. Don't start sentences with awkward 'ums' and 'ers' in between. Practice speaking to a mirror, it works! It increases confidence in speaking, and it sounds much clearer; you may find you'll be using fewer 'ums' and 'ers' next time!

• Don't speak loudly. You will quickly lose respect if you do, as this is seen as overbearing and rude. It can also make others angry and upset before you even establish a relationship with them. They will think of you as a 'big mouth'! Practice turning your volume down.

• Speak with respect to and of others by avoiding negative or insulting remarks. Avoid expressions or theoretical examples implying disrespect, degradation or that invite people to imagine offensive scenarios, like "What's up your butt?" or "How would you feel if someone..." followed by a description of violent or degrading acts. You may not intend this as offensive, but it is. General rule: if you don't want someone to speak about you that way, then don't speak this way to others.

• Don't ever speak of bodily functions, such as using the bathroom or telling crude jokes. Even in casual conversation, this indicates immaturity and often makes bad impressions.

• Always respect all elders, and listen to them and learn. They have been around, and can teach you plenty.

• Using the terms 'Thank you', 'Please', and 'You're welcome' indicates good manners. People lacking in manners avoid these terms.

• Hold open a door for anyone, male or female, following you closely. This is good manners and will never change.

• Speak highly of your parents and show respect for them, even if you don't always feel that way. If you can't, avoid speaking about them at all. It's tacky to insult those who brought you into this world or raised you. Don't air family dirty laundry: it's tacky and rude.

• Do not swear or use filthy language. It can make you sound cheap and disrespectful sometimes. People doing this are usually very immature and lack self-control or respect for themselves and others! Curse words not appropriate and you'll begin to feel more comfortable avoiding them. Profanity indicates an angry person and it puts people off immediately as it's distasteful and offensive. Using decent vocabulary gives the impression of intelligence, self-respect and character.

• Greet others appropriately even if you know someone well. If you are a man, you do not want to greet a woman by saying, "Hey baby, what's shaking?" Instead, try something like, "Hello, good morning or evening," anything making you appear respectful.

TIPS

• Start your day off by smiling and feeling positive. Treat everyone you come across with respect. That way their day may be a good one; and maybe they'll pass that smile and positive attitude along to someone else. Smiles are contagious. Greet your co-workers when you arrive. Say goodbye when you leave.

• If someone else is speaking, try hard not to be domineering or overbearing by taking over the story or subject matter at hand, even if you feel that you can tell it better. Try to let them finish what they are saying, before adding your two cents worth.

• If you are talking to someone on the phone, be sure to pause every once in a while in order to allow the other person time to speak - and take a genuine interest in what they have to share with you. It shows that you care.

WARNINGS

• Good manners doesn't mean that you can't joke and cut-up, and have a sense of humour, don't confuse good manners with being a stuffed shirt and reserved, so to speak. Manners are the stitches that hold the fabric of society together.So let's keep them that way!

• Do not get intimidated or feel ashamed if your friends make fun of you for opening the door for a girl or helping an older person do something they cannot do alone. Being good mannered may seem out of fashion and even silly to some, but it only shows how mature and bright you are, because in the long run, that good you did to others will be returned. (Even if it isn't, you still did the right thing.)

• Having bad manners can be associated with having poor character.

• Don't be overly polite with your peers unless you're in a business setting or you may come across as a weak, spineless, people-pleaser.

• Keep in mind there is such a thing as being too polite. You should be kind, but don't be uptight with all the "polite" rules. As with everything else in this world, there is a happy medium between the two

How to Figure Out Whether or Not You Are a Lesbian

Lesbians are women-loving women. We are women who are sexually attracted to other women. We are women who may feel emotionally and spiritually closer to women. We are women who prefer women as our partners. Figuring out your sexual orientation can be a difficult and confusing process. This article is meant for you to ask yourself thought-provoking questions (perhaps things you'd never thought of) that can reveal many answers as to what your sexual orientation really is.


Steps

• 
  
  Do you wonder if you’ll ever start liking guys—the way you think you’re “supposed to”?

• 
  
  When your friends talk about boys, do you feel bored—or like you can’t relate to their interest in guys?

• 
  
  Do you find yourself daydreaming or fantasizing about dating the girls you know instead of the guys?

• 
  
  Do you ever think about what it would be like to kiss or make out with another girl?

• 
  
  When you are with a girl you are attracted to, does your belly do flip-flops?

• 
  
  When you hear love songs on the radio, do you think of guys or girls?

• 
  
  Who do you fantasize about more, men or women?

• 
  
  If you have the choice of spending time with a girl you like or a boy you like, which do you choose?

• 
  
  Who do you enjoy kissing more? Men or women?

• 
  
  Are your feelings for women stronger than your feelings for men?

• 
  
  Do you get more excited about the idea of kissing a man or kissing a woman?

• 
  
  Who do you see yourself settling down with in the future?

• 
  
  Are you more physically attracted to men's or women's bodies?

• 
  
  Are you not as physically attracted to men as you feel society thinks you should be?

• 
  
  Do you have a lot of lesbian friends?

• 
  
  Do people ever ask you if you are gay and are surprised when you're not?

• 
  
  Do you follow television shows where you appreciate female characters more strongly than or to the exclusion of male characters?

• 
  
  Has it occurred to you that you could be something in life other than heterosexual?

Tips

• 
  
  Don't rush anything, and especially DO NOT come out before you're ready! If you are still struggling, meditate on it for a while. Just be unsure for now. It's really okay.

• 
  
  If you have examined all these issues and still spend significant time and emotional energy in confusion about your orientation, it might be time to consult a professional to help you sort things out. It is best to find a therapist or coach who specializes in sexuality and who you can feel comfortable with. Always research the therapist first. Some therapists have explicit agendas of convincing people they are not homosexual because of their religious beliefs. If you are actually a lesbian, this can end up creating a situation that is not good for your long term mental health.

WARNINGS

• 
  
  Please don't think you have to sleep with someone to figure it out.

• 
  
  Remember that everyone's experience coming out and to the realization that they are not straight is different. Do not feel like because you arrived at a conclusion differently than other people that your conclusion is wrong.

• 
  
  Remember that the realization of your true sexual orientation is a very complex issue that takes time, and no article or video or stranger on the internet can give you a definite answer, although they can be very helpful, as this article is meant to be. You will eventually find the answer...in your heart.

How to Ask Your Neighbors to Be Less Noisy

Noisy neighbors are very boring. They can interrupt your sleep and work. You just need to find a peaceful way to politely ask them to stop.

STEPS

1. Don't go to them the first time they let out a little sound. These sounds have to continue at least for a week or two to ask them to stop.
2. Ask a parent to go to your neighbors if you're under 18. Not everyone listens to children or teenagers.
3. Make sure they have been noisy less than an hour ago.
4. Make sure you go to them on a reasonable time of the day. Nobody would like to be woken up at 3 am, unless they are being noisy at that time.
5. Dress up nicely and be friendly to them when you ring at their door. Politely ask them to
6. Lower their voice (or TV, or stereo) because you are tryng to sleep or work.
7. Excuse yourself for interrupting their activities if they say they will. and don't forget to wish them a good day. After all, neighbors need to cooperate.
8. Return at home if they get upset, but if they continue being noisy, return to them again, not mad, but not as polite as before.
9. Ask them again this way if they are yet again irritated by saying: "I'm sorry, I am working/sleeping and would like some peace, I was not telling you to shut up, excuse me!", but keep on the peaceful side.
10. If they will not stop, call the police.
11. Go to them in your pajamas if they're having a crazy party at night! You have the full right to!
    
    
    

TIPS

1. Do not get into a war with your neighbor. Don't be noisy yourself to irritate your neighbor! You are a civil person, don't get down to his/her level.
2. While waiting for the police, earplugs can be a great help in the meantime.
3. Maybe it's not your neighbors being noisy, it's you being too quiet!
   

Warnings

1. If you live in a dangerous neighborhood and your neighbors are criminals and make extremely loud sounds, don't go over there! Immediately call the police.
2. If your neighbor hurts you physically, call the police!
3. Spousal or domestic abuse should always be reported to the police. If the noise is indeed a fight the police should be called. You should only attempt to go over if you suspect someone is in immediate danger of being hurt!
   

How to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work

from wikiHow



It's hard enough to make local relationships work, but having mile, States, and sometimes even an ocean between you makes it even more difficult. However, successful long distance relationships can and do exist. Here's how to give yours every chance to survive and thrive.

1. Ask the important questions at the onset, to make sure you are both clear on the parameters of the relationship. Setting parameters such as naming your relationship (dating, seeing each other, boyfriend/girlfriend, engaged)as well defining exclusive(limited to one person,) non exclusive. These can be difficult and awkward questions to ask, but will save you great heartache and misunderstanding down the line. Example: "Are you open to the possibility of relocating if the relationship should become more serious?" or "What are you looking to get out of the relationship?". Stating your end goal or ideas will allow each person to maintain what they need.
   
   
   
2. Do things together. Defy the distance. As a long distance couple, it's important to do other things together besides the usual phone call. In a long distance relationship, interaction over the phone can become dull in the long run. Incorporating other forms of interaction are important. Just think... people in short-distance relationships do not spend the majority of their time talking, but rather doing things with each other. Try to replicate this by finding things to do together such as watching a TV show or movie simultaneously.
   
   
   
3. Communicate in some way every day, more than once if possible. Since you won't be seeing each other, it's important to establish and maintain an emotional connection. These don't always have to be long, in-depth conversations. Tell each other about your little triumphs and tragedies. Ask for advice. Use an instant messenger program or VoIP for real-time chat, or web cams for that visual connection. E-mail is great so make sure you use it, especially if long-distance phone calls put a strain on your budget. Remember that e-mail and even instant messengers can increase the possibility of misunderstandings. Write love letters. Send small gifts or flowers for no reason. In this case, quantity is as important as quality. You may discover an advantage over others whose partner is close at hand - you don't take communication for granted!
   
   
   
4. Take advantage of the benefits a long distance relationship offers: more time with friends and/or family, no arguments over toothpaste caps, the pleasure of seeing your sweetheart again after a long absence, time to mull your options (rather than snapping at your partner impulsively) before you respond to that email s/he wrote that seemed so rude the first time you read it, etc. Most important, being far apart gives you a chance to maintain your individuality - something that can get lost in the shuffle when couples spend all their free time together. Here are additional benefits of long distance relationships.
   
   
   
5. Pursue common interests, even if it means pursuing them apart. If there's a movie you're both interested in seeing, watch it individually and then call each other afterward and talk about it. Read a certain book at the same time. Stargaze while you're on the phone. Set your watches to go off at the same time every day, and synchronize your alarm with that of your partner. Make it a point to think of each other when your watch goes off, and revel in the fact that he or she is thinking about you, too. Find creative ways to bond.
   
   
   
6. Avoid the temptation to be controlling. People have free will and no one can or should control another person. As long as you are both interested in being in the relationship, you will stick with it and distance will not make a difference. As soon as one of you decides the other is not a good match - or someone else is a better match - your relationship ends, whether you live 3000 miles apart, two streets over, or share the same bed with your wedding picture on the wall. You are going to have to trust each other completely if this relationship is going to work.
   
   
   
7. Talk about your future together. Assuming that ultimately you'd want to live together, discussing how you're going to get to that point will help you prove to each other that the relationship is going somewhere and that your efforts and frustrations are not in vain.
   Remember: things will get better with time, and even the relationship will become better. Have hope.
   
   
   
8. Visit often Try to make the time to visit each other as often as possible or as often as your budget permits you to. A relationship cannot thrive if the only thing you have is the phone calls. You need to see each other up close and personal every chance you get. The key here is to set up some "rules" about frequency of communication and visits and stick to them, consistency can help a LDR survive.
   
   
   
9. Avoid jealousy and be trusting One of the easiest ways to destroy a perfectly healthy relationship is to poison it with jealousy and drama. When you start a long distance relationship you must be realistic of the difficulties ahead. It always helps if you go in a relationship with the idea that everyone is innocent and worth of trust until proven otherwise. Don't fall in the trap to interrogate your partner every time he/she decides to go out for a drink with people you haven't met or he/she didn't get back to you right away when you called and left a message. Just because you are in a LDR, your lives won't pause.
   
   
   
10. Your partner will naturally have a social life where he/she lives and so should you. Sure it helps to have your eyes open and not be totally naive but being overly suspicious is unhealthy for you and your relationship too. You should both maintain your social activity and be happy with yourselves.
    
    
    
11. Be positive Staying positive and not focusing on the negative aspects of a LDR is essential to keeping your relationship blooming and your partner content. Being away from your sweetie is not all bad news. Use the opportunity of personal time to pursue your interests and hobbies as well as your career objectives. Another positive point is that long distance dating pushes both of you to be more creative, communicate better since you don't have "face-to-face" time and test your feelings. As long as you see the long distance relationship as a temporary state, you will keep your chin up and transmit that feeling of security and happiness to your partner too.
    
    
    
12. Give them a personal object of yours so in a time of need, where they miss you, they are able to hold on to something that once belonged to you. This will provide comfort, happiness, and the thought of being with you.
    
    
    
13. Long distance dating is all about a balanced relationship between partners; a relationship built on strong foundations of trust, understanding and determination to make it work. The two partners should be reasonable about their expectations and willing to cooperate so that this relationship can lead to a happy ending. If these parameters are taken care of, you have nothing to worry about. But don't forget to ask some questions because if you don't , your partner may start to think that you're losing interest.
    
    
    

TIPS

• Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
  
  
  

• A long distance relationship is no different from a proximal relationship in that they both require a great deal of work, excellent communication, patience, sacrifice and understanding. But you will have to work extra hard to maintain the communication and to stay focused enough to not let your daily life interfere with your desire to be with the other person. Don't forget them or you can forget the relationship and it will all be over.
  
  
  

• Sometimes phone/email/IM communication can get bland... don't forget there are other ways to interact! Utilize the internet and find things you both can do together. It takes the pressure off constant talking, and can be fun.
  
  
  

• One of the hardest parts of a long distance relationship is connecting when one person gets busier than the other. If this happens in a relationship it is important to maintain communication. If you are the busy person, try to warn your partner ahead of time that you will be working many hours and may have limited time. If you are the not-as-busy person, take advantage of the time by picking up a new hobby, getting in shape, reading a new book, etc. Flexibility is very important.
  
  
  

• It helps to have a solid time in the future for when the long distance part of the relationship will end, no matter the time length. Without it, the relationship can begin to mold into something that is always distant - even with great communication. With it, each person can see the point at which the distance will end and work harder to keep emotions readily available.
  
  
  

• When talking to your partner, take note of things they enjoy the most (hobbies, day-to-day activities, etc.), and do a little research on it so you have more to do when you see them next. For example: If your partner likes to dance, find the location of different clubs where you will see them next. If you don't know how to dance, take lessons and you will impress them by your willingness to make an effort on their behalf.
  
  
  

• Buy a game that you can play together over the internet, such as a MMORPG (massively multi-player online role playing game). You will be able to chat while playing and it will give a greater feeling of togetherness.
  
  
  

• Mail each other scented clothes.(Or even clothes smelling of your sweat - pheromones are a great way to establish intimate contact.)
  
  
  

• Send each other spontaneous ecards.
  
  
  

• Make a creative countdown and mail it to your partner to enjoy until you see each other next. For example, create a photo calendar, with something you add for each day to describe what you love about them.
  
  
  

• Do not set unreasonable expectations for your visit and/or future plans. Fantasizing about the visit is fine, but not out loud verbally or by email to your partner. Instead, enjoy the excitement of the surprises to come. By stating that a surprise is coming can allow to much thought time for the receiver and leaves both of you open to disappointments.
  
  
  

• The Long Distance Relationship Guidebook is a well-balanced, practical book for couples in long distance relationships who need some guidance.
  
  
  

• Buy a webcam so you can chat face to face and see each other, so when you meet you will remember what they look like.
  
  
  

• Consider the fact that living far apart gives you both a chance to grow as individuals. Some couples break up to "find themselves", but in a long distance relationship you both have enough space to do your own things and still have a connection.
  
  
  

• Don't be afraid to talk about the "boring" parts of your day. The trickier, almost subconscious part is maintaining the feeling of being intermingled in your partner's life, a state the experts often refer to as "interrelatedness."
  
  
  

WARNINGS

• Remember, every kind of relationship takes hard work and dedication to your loved one or partner, whether it's long distance or proximal. If you and your partner are willing to take these steps, then expect bumps and turns in the road. These bumps and turns will only help contribute towards a relationship.
  
  
  

• Long distance relationships are not for the faint of heart. They can be very trying - but so can proximal relationships.
  
  
  

• Long distance relationships can and will test you and your partner; you need to trust him/her entirely as paranoia can play a major part in the demise of your relationship. Also, these kinds of relationships can bring a lot of disappointment and heartache--depending on the time you spend away from each other it is VERY important that if you want this relationship to work you must make a great effort not to drift apart.
  
  
  

• Long distance relationships are difficult, as you are emotionally attached to a person you cannot touch or comfort and this can hurt your heart and wreak havoc with your emotions. The only way to make these relationships work is if you and your partner honestly believe you will be able to survive without each other for a considerable amount of time without the need or desire to be with someone else.
  
  
  

How to Be Nice to a Mean Person

from wikiHow

Well intentioned people do not intend to be mean, but the things that they say can hurt you and at times destroy your self confidence. A well meaning friend might tell you how much weight you have gained and add a little note that your husband will leave you if you stay fat . Another friend might give you the advice not to argue with your husband because he might walk out on you. Those few words can send you to a therapist because you might start questioning yourself, and you begin to watch every word you say and each piece of food you eat. Mean people love to cause distress so get back at them by being nice to them.[1]

Steps

• Relax and ignore their hurtful comments! Think about what it is that they said that hurt you. Ponder. Were their words well intentioned, or did you just take it as that. Were they really trying to hurt you or maybe help you. Take what they say in a positive way, or just brush it off by thanking them for their help, and the pay them a compliment instead.

• Remember the old saying,You can catch more bees with honey than vinegar. Offer kindness to those who offer anger, Thank them for their advice when they say something hurtful. Once they see that they are no longer making you angry, they will not longer be mean.[2]

• Invite them to hang out with you or other friends. Go to social events, hang out at the mall, go out to eat. Go out of you way to be nice to them, and understand that maybe they saying and doing mean things because they are looking for attention or are lonely.

• Send them a card for Valentine's Day if. Invite them to a party at your house, be nice to them and they will be learn to nice in return.

• Be friends with them if they want.

TIPS

• Being nice to someone does not mean spending loads of money on them. If you know there's a special occasion coming up, try making something for them like cookies, a card, or whatever fits the occasion. A gift made from scratch is a gift made from the heart.

• If you notice that the person is alone, try to talk with them and provide them with some company.

• People who are mean are often times hiding hurt feelings of their own and it helps a lot to show them that you're there for them. If they do request you to let them be alone at the moment, respect their wishes.

• When a person continually tries to hurt you, walk away! If they follow you, once again walk away! Find another place to be and eventually they will stop following you. A person cannot argue by themselves. It takes two to fight. Leave and they will have no one to fight with, and you will be happier.

WARNINGS

• There's a difference in being nice and being a doormat. Do not allow them to take advantage of you, and if they still are mean and nasty, then just stop being friendly. Sometimes being nice, does not change a person who is really mean.

• Don't use personal feelings or actions of the other person to get back at them. Remember you want to be an example of how not to be mean, so do not get down to their level.

• If the situation gets worse, then you better ignore them for awhile, until they have cooled off their heads.

STEPS

Relax and ignore their hurtful comments! Think about what it is that they said that hurt you. Ponder. Were their words well intentioned, or did you just take it as that. Were they really trying to hurt you or maybe help you. Take what they say in a positive way, or just brush it off by thanking them for their help, and the pay them a compliment instead.
Remember the old saying,You can catch more bees with honey than vinegar. Offer kindness to those who offer anger, Thank them for their advice when they say something hurtful. Once they see that they are no longer making you angry, they will not longer be mean.[2]
Invite them to hang out with you or other friends. Go to social events, hang out at the mall, go out to eat. Go out of you way to be nice to them, and understand that maybe they saying and doing mean things because they are looking for attention or are lonely.
Send them a card for Valentine's Day if. Invite them to a party at your house, be nice to them and they will be learn to nice in return.
Be friends with them if they want.

TIPS

Being nice to someone does not mean spending loads of money on them. If you know there's a special occasion coming up, try making something for them like cookies, a card, or whatever fits the occasion. A gift made from scratch is a gift made from the heart.
If you notice that the person is alone, try to talk with them and provide them with some company.
People who are mean are often times hiding hurt feelings of their own and it helps a lot to show them that you're there for them. If they do request you to let them be alone at the moment, respect their wishes.
When a person continually tries to hurt you, walk away! If they follow you, once again walk away! Find another place to be and eventually they will stop following you. A person cannot argue by themselves. It takes two to fight. Leave and they will have no one to fight with, and you will be happier.

WARNINGS

There's a difference in being nice and being a doormat. Do not allow them to take advantage of you, and if they still are mean and nasty, then just stop being friendly. Sometimes being nice, does not change a person who is really mean.
Don't use personal feelings or actions of the other person to get back at them. Remember you want to be an example of how not to be mean, so do not get down to their level.
If the situation gets worse, then you better ignore them for awhile, until they have cooled off their heads.

How to Say Thank You

from wikiHow

Have you ever been complimented by someone, then just stood in an uncomfortable silence because you don't know how to say 'Thank you'? Wanted to show your gratitude for something but don't know how?

STEPS

• Recognize that there are multiple ways to express your thankfulness. If you have been complimented, you can just

smile, say those two little words sincerely and compliment them back: E.G: (smile) 'Thank you! I like your top, it's really flattering.

• Remember that if you have been taken out for a meal or to a restaurant by a family member, friend or even a potential partner, make sure you are in conversation while you quickly add in a little "Oh and thank you so much for the meal. It has been really great of you. You just need to tell the truth. For instance, if your mom has just taken you to a day spa and it was really relaxing and you feel really good, then say: "Hey mom, thank you for taking me to the day spa, it was really relaxing and I feel really good now!" Simple!

• Know that if you are trying to say thank you for a present or a gift that you have received, repeat step one, just saying that you liked the present and give a reason why.

TIPS

• Remember to always smile! Tell the truth (unless the truth isn't actually saying thank you) and make sure that you compliment or tell the person how happy it has made you!

How to Build Self Confidence

from wikiHow

You want to be confident and feel confident, but what if you're starting with little or no confidence? How do you get from Point A to Point B? True self-confidence isn't an overnight acquisition. It takes dedication to realize you are a good human being that is worthy of respect and love.

Steps

• Recognize your insecurities. What does that voice in the back of your mind say? What makes you ashamed of yourself? This could be anything from acne, to regrets, your weight, or friends at school. Whatever is making you feel unworthy, ashamed, or inferior, identify it, give it a name, and write it down.

• Don't view yourself as inferior to others. Don't walk around with the subconscious mindset that others are better or more qualified than you, whether it's related to work, school, or just socializing. To a certain degree, it's good to walk around with a feeling of superiority. However, don't take this too far, or you'll come across as a jerk.

• Talk about it with friends and loved ones. Wear it on your sleeve. Each day you should chip away at it; wear it down. There's no quick fix. Get to the root of the problem; focus on it and understand that you need to resolve each issue before you can move on.

• Remember that no one is perfect. Even the most confident people have insecurities. At some point in any of our lives, we may feel we lack something. That is reality. Learn that life is full of bumps down the road.

• Identify your successes. Everyone is good at something, so discover the things at which you excel, then focus on your talents. Give yourself permission to take pride in them. Give yourself credit for your successes. Inferiority is a state of mind in which you've declared yourself a victim. Do not allow yourself to be victimized. Express yourself, whether it's through art, music, writing, etc. Find something you enjoy. Everyone is born with talents and strengths. You can develop and excel in yours. If it's difficult to name two or three things you have some ability in or just plain love to do, think about things others do that you would like to do too and take some lessons or join an enthusiasts club. When you're following your passion, not only will it have a therapeutic effect, but you'll feel unique and accomplished, all of which can help build your self confidence. Plus, adding a variety of interests to your life will not only make you more confident, but it will increase your chances of meeting compatible friends!

• Be thankful for what you have. A lot of the times, at the root of insecurity and lack of confidence is a feeling of not having enough of something, whether it's emotional validation, good luck, money, etc. By acknowledging and appreciating what you do have, you can combat the feeling of being incomplete and unsatisfied. Finding that inner peace will do wonders for your confidence.

• Be Positive, even if you don't feel positive. Avoid self-pity, or the pity and sympathy of others. Never allow others to make you feel inferior--they can only do so if you let them. If you continue to loathe and belittle yourself, others are going to do and believe likewise. Instead, speak positively about yourself, about your future, and about your progress. Do not be afraid to project your strengths and qualities to others. By doing so, you reinforce those ideas in your mind and encourage your growth in a positive direction.

• Accept compliments gracefully. Don't roll your eyes and say, "Yeah, right," or shrug it off. Take it to heart and respond positively ("Thank you" and a smile works well).

• Look in the mirror and smile. Studies surrounding what's called the "facial feedback theory" suggest that the expressions on your face can actually encourage your brain to register certain emotions. So by looking in the mirror and smiling every day, you might feel happier with yourself and more confident in the long run. It also helps to talk to yourself in the mirror. It helps your speaking skills.

• Fake it. Along the same lines of smiling to make yourself feel happy, acting confident might actually make you believe it. Pretend you're a completely confident version of you; go through the motions and see how you feel

• Stick to your principles. It might be tough, but if you don't have something you can believe in, you don't have anything. If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything. No matter what's happened in your life, you can always lay claim to the fact that from this day forward, you've followed your principles to the best of your ability.

• Help others. When you know you're kind to the people around you, and are making a positive difference in other people's lives (even if it's just being kinder to the person who serves you coffee in the morning), you'll know that you are a positive force in the world--which will boost your self confidence. Go volunteer twice a month at an elementary school. Bake something for your neighbor for no reason. Confidence that you have earned is the most long-lasting.

• Don't Care What Other People Think You shouldn't care about what other people will think or are going to think because what's important is that you are fine with yourself and if you're fine with yourself, others will be fine with you!
  Remember If someone insults you and puts you down, just remember,that they are not perfect either.

• Look at yourself in the mirror and list all of the positive qualities that you have. Doing this every day can help to build a better self-view of yourself.

• Work hard- Keep on doing your work honestly. Have a target in your life.Focus on it. Do anything to reach that target and see how that inner feeling of confidence comes to you.
  

TIPS

• Exercise and eat healthy. Exercise raises endorphins and makes one feel happier and healthier. It is certainly an easy and effective way to boost your self-confidence.

• When you're feeling superbly insecure, write down a list of things that are good about you. Then read the list back. You'd be surprised at what you can come up with.

• Turn feelings of envy or jealousy into a desire to achieve. Stop wanting what others have just because they have it; seek things simply because you want them, whether anybody else has them or not.

• Don't be afraid to push yourself a bit - a little bit of pressure can actually show just how good you are!

• Take a wilderness experience course such as those found at Outward Bound or NOLS. Learning how to survive in the wilderness will build your confidence in other areas of life too. You can also try taking a martial arts or fitness class/course (or both). This will help build confidence and strength.

• Try to make yourself talk positively at all times. When you hear yourself saying you can't do something, stop and say you can. Unless you try, you will never know whether you are able to or not.

• Everyone is beautiful in their own way; don't let anyone tell you differently. Remember to tell yourself that you are beautiful every day; even if you don't believe it, one day you will.

• Money, luck, beauty, and all other material things are just an illusion of happiness. It misleads us to believe we will feel excellent if we have these things or have fun, but in the long run, you will discover that while these things aren't necessarily horrible, they are only mere satisfactions. You will realize having the American Eagle jacket, Nike Shoes, or an attractively rich person flirting with you is only a satisfaction, so you in the end you might feel glad you've gotten what you wanted, but you'll want more and more until you reach happiness. It'll be you just running for happiness blindly until you are worn out.

• Happiness is not all about being lucky, attractive, or the best, but rather feeling joyful in yourself, letting go of your insecurities, and having real fun. Sometimes going clubbing is also what the media tags as being the most fun thing, and it can be, but you decide what feels wonderful and happily fun. The reason people also reflect back to their childhood as "the good ole days" is because that's when being the richest or prettiest doesn't count really, and when we were able to release ourselves and have true fun, feeling happy and confident.

• Keep smiling all the time. It will help you feel more confident.

• Say what comes to your mind; since your instinct thought of it, it's probably the right thing for you. Trusting your instinct will provide you with confidence to make the right decision at the right time.

• Practice good posture. Our body posture represents what we are at that particular time. A simple habit that we can learn and implement is to stand and sit correctly. Your proper body posture will speak for you; how you stand sends out a message to the world, and in turn, back to you.

• Avoid perfectionism. Perfectionism paralyzes you and keeps you from accomplishing your goals.

• Write something on wikiHow! If you have a suggestion for anything, then share it. You will feel good for contributing, helping someone, and having your voice heard.

• It is important that you take an oath every morning that you will do wonders today. Never think negative about yourself.

• You can provide yourself with an extra measure of confidence by using the Best Me Technique of self-hypnosis to pre-experience the rewards of a long-term goal, thereby reducing or eliminating the need for "will power."

• Self confidence is also about knowledge. Improve your knowledge on subjects which you feel are interesting.

• Be true and honest to yourself. You will never be confident in yourself if you don't accept yourself and all the imperfections you may have because, although you may have imperfections, you have natural talents too. Also, you must accept the fact that you are not and never will be "perfect" but you are who you are. Finally, you may have high expectations for yourself but if you just work hard and play hard, that's all you can ask for.

• If you spend a lot of time wondering or worrying what people think of you, try focusing on something else. Dwell on a book you just read, the state of the world today, Somali pirates... or just listen to music. You will feel better, develop your personality, and look much less awkward. If you happen to glance up and catch someone's eye, smile!

• If a guy doesn't like you, don't try to be LOUD to be noticed, because most guys find it annoying. instead, keep your head up, smile, and move on because clearly the guy is missing out! Work hard and be happy.

• Just be yourself that is the best way to build self confidence you should never compare yourself to a picture or a model or someone who is rich that is what gives you a complex about yourself!

• You are awesome, no matter what people say to you. Nobody is perfect, so why bother thinking 'I'm not perfect' when no one is? Smile, have fun, do what you want. That will achieve happiness.
  

WARNINGS

• Don't get wrapped up in your mistakes and dwell on bad points; they can be a healthy contrast to your good points or even give you something to improve. There's no feeling like being good at something you were really bad at.

• Don't confuse what you have with who you are. People degrade their self worth when comparing possessions.

• Surround yourself with nurturing friends, not overly critical individuals who make you feel inadequate or insecure. This could do great harm and damage to your self confidence.

• Do not try to become confident in the sole interest of finding a partner. You will regret creating a false personality as the relationship goes along.

• It's good to have a lot of confidence, but don't build it up so much that you get egotistical and annoying.

• Lack of confidence is not necessarily a curse! So do not worry. Many ignorant, fanatic and maniac people are confident but is that desirable? No. Building self confidence should be associated with simultaneous growth from within. Thus by overcoming pettiness and superficiality you can build unshakable self confidence [Cf: Conceptual Stress: Dr. Shriniwas Kashalikar].

• Do not mistake being loud and cocky as confidence. Often this is just a way of somebody with lots of insecurities to cover it up, therefore not being confident at all. Confidence is being happy with yourself and not allowing what other people think of you to affect you, you should only care about what you think of yourself.

• Don't get suckered into thinking ads like the one at the end of this wikiHow are a quick fix. No one can sell you a magic solution to make you self confident, you need to prove yourself to yourself.

• Don't put yourself down around others to receive compliments and reassurances of your worth. This will lead you to believe that people are only complimenting you because they feel sorry for you, and it will only hurt your confidence in the long run. Wait for a sincere compliment, accept it, and remember it.
  
  

How to Be Proud, Not Cocky and Conceited

from wikiHow

Pride is a mile different from cockiness or conceit. Feeling pride in yourself does a positive turn on your health, because it can boost your self-image and make you happier. But how to draw a line between those two?

STEPS

• Define "proud" and "conceited." Does strutting around the school/office count for cockiness? Or is it just your usual way of walking? Make sure you draw a very clear line what "proud" is.

• Dress appropriately well. Don't go out in your slippers and pjs to the mall, and please don't be slutty or anything that would brand you as something you wouldn't want to be. Dress and clothes play a huge part in the way others look at you, and ultimately the way you see yourself. If you are impressed by your own appearance, you can be confident or even "proud"' when you walk down the sidewalk.

• Chat like a normal person, don't constantly blow your own horn. Being confident and assured doesn't mean you can't talk to other people, or that you start treating your friends like underlings! And they don't want to hear all your stories about the "wonderfulness of you." Being humble does not mean acting ashamed, it means realizing that you're not better than anybody else - just as they are not better than you. Treat others as you want them to treat you. Try complimenting them for once. Don't think they are "lower"' and you are "better" once you get that ego-boost.

• Hold your head up and walk tall. Walk like you're a model. But don't overdo it. I can't stress enough how annoying it is for women to parade down the streets in their heels, blocking everybody else. Just walk with your back straight, a dazzling smile on your face, and move with purpose, like you are going someplace important. This creates the impression that you're "booked" and you're in a hurry for your next appointment (whether this is true or not, it's worth a try!), and also that you "glide" effortlessly through your journey.

• Help others. A caring heart and a helping hand go far toward helping you do something to impress yourself, and that will do more to boost your self-image than anything. Being proud of yourself is difficult if you have done nothing you are proud of! Physical appearance is important, but what's inside is even more significant. You will never stand taller than when stooping to help someone else - be compassionate and volunteer to help others.
  Enjoy yourself, not the work that you have done. One can continue to enjoy one's own value and give thanks for being who he/she is. That is not the same as being happy for one's own accomplishment.

• Be proud of who you are, not what you are Don't define yourself by a single brand or stereotype. Be proud of your individuality to others however don't overdo it and go all hipster. Also, be proud of what you have done, and all the positive things you have created and don't just "feel good" - "feel good about who you are", ie. don't just feel good just because your favourite TV show is on, feel good that you have completed all your actions that enabled you to reward yourself by doing something you enjoy (watching your favourite TV show)

TIPS

• Keep a kind heart and a generous smile. People should see the difference between being conceited and cocky versus being proud.

• Being a little humble is always better than being way too conceited.

• You can feel just as proud of having a dependable older car as someone else feels about their shiny new one - and you can look forward to having a nice shiny new car later on.

• Money and looks don't totally make up a person. Pocket change is better than no change at all. Be grateful for all the good things you have - you can work and earn more money, but you can't replace the good friends, loving family, and wonderful opportunities life will bring to you.

WARNINGS

• Confidence is attractive. Arrogance is obnoxious. There's a fine line between the two - make sure you don't erase it.