How to Have Good Manners

To present a good impression, you must act like you weren't raised in a barn! It is difficult dealing with those having no manners or concern for others. A huge societal issue is a general lack of respect for what has been taught in history regarding human concern and compassion towards acquaintances. Also known as good manners.


Steps

• Think things out before speaking, especially if you are poor at finding the right words. Don't start sentences with awkward 'ums' and 'ers' in between. Practice speaking to a mirror, it works! It increases confidence in speaking, and it sounds much clearer; you may find you'll be using fewer 'ums' and 'ers' next time!

• Don't speak loudly. You will quickly lose respect if you do, as this is seen as overbearing and rude. It can also make others angry and upset before you even establish a relationship with them. They will think of you as a 'big mouth'! Practice turning your volume down.

• Speak with respect to and of others by avoiding negative or insulting remarks. Avoid expressions or theoretical examples implying disrespect, degradation or that invite people to imagine offensive scenarios, like "What's up your butt?" or "How would you feel if someone..." followed by a description of violent or degrading acts. You may not intend this as offensive, but it is. General rule: if you don't want someone to speak about you that way, then don't speak this way to others.

• Don't ever speak of bodily functions, such as using the bathroom or telling crude jokes. Even in casual conversation, this indicates immaturity and often makes bad impressions.

• Always respect all elders, and listen to them and learn. They have been around, and can teach you plenty.

• Using the terms 'Thank you', 'Please', and 'You're welcome' indicates good manners. People lacking in manners avoid these terms.

• Hold open a door for anyone, male or female, following you closely. This is good manners and will never change.

• Speak highly of your parents and show respect for them, even if you don't always feel that way. If you can't, avoid speaking about them at all. It's tacky to insult those who brought you into this world or raised you. Don't air family dirty laundry: it's tacky and rude.

• Do not swear or use filthy language. It can make you sound cheap and disrespectful sometimes. People doing this are usually very immature and lack self-control or respect for themselves and others! Curse words not appropriate and you'll begin to feel more comfortable avoiding them. Profanity indicates an angry person and it puts people off immediately as it's distasteful and offensive. Using decent vocabulary gives the impression of intelligence, self-respect and character.

• Greet others appropriately even if you know someone well. If you are a man, you do not want to greet a woman by saying, "Hey baby, what's shaking?" Instead, try something like, "Hello, good morning or evening," anything making you appear respectful.

TIPS

• Start your day off by smiling and feeling positive. Treat everyone you come across with respect. That way their day may be a good one; and maybe they'll pass that smile and positive attitude along to someone else. Smiles are contagious. Greet your co-workers when you arrive. Say goodbye when you leave.

• If someone else is speaking, try hard not to be domineering or overbearing by taking over the story or subject matter at hand, even if you feel that you can tell it better. Try to let them finish what they are saying, before adding your two cents worth.

• If you are talking to someone on the phone, be sure to pause every once in a while in order to allow the other person time to speak - and take a genuine interest in what they have to share with you. It shows that you care.

WARNINGS

• Good manners doesn't mean that you can't joke and cut-up, and have a sense of humour, don't confuse good manners with being a stuffed shirt and reserved, so to speak. Manners are the stitches that hold the fabric of society together.So let's keep them that way!

• Do not get intimidated or feel ashamed if your friends make fun of you for opening the door for a girl or helping an older person do something they cannot do alone. Being good mannered may seem out of fashion and even silly to some, but it only shows how mature and bright you are, because in the long run, that good you did to others will be returned. (Even if it isn't, you still did the right thing.)

• Having bad manners can be associated with having poor character.

• Don't be overly polite with your peers unless you're in a business setting or you may come across as a weak, spineless, people-pleaser.

• Keep in mind there is such a thing as being too polite. You should be kind, but don't be uptight with all the "polite" rules. As with everything else in this world, there is a happy medium between the two

How to Ask Your Neighbors to Be Less Noisy

Noisy neighbors are very boring. They can interrupt your sleep and work. You just need to find a peaceful way to politely ask them to stop.

STEPS

1. Don't go to them the first time they let out a little sound. These sounds have to continue at least for a week or two to ask them to stop.
2. Ask a parent to go to your neighbors if you're under 18. Not everyone listens to children or teenagers.
3. Make sure they have been noisy less than an hour ago.
4. Make sure you go to them on a reasonable time of the day. Nobody would like to be woken up at 3 am, unless they are being noisy at that time.
5. Dress up nicely and be friendly to them when you ring at their door. Politely ask them to
6. Lower their voice (or TV, or stereo) because you are tryng to sleep or work.
7. Excuse yourself for interrupting their activities if they say they will. and don't forget to wish them a good day. After all, neighbors need to cooperate.
8. Return at home if they get upset, but if they continue being noisy, return to them again, not mad, but not as polite as before.
9. Ask them again this way if they are yet again irritated by saying: "I'm sorry, I am working/sleeping and would like some peace, I was not telling you to shut up, excuse me!", but keep on the peaceful side.
10. If they will not stop, call the police.
11. Go to them in your pajamas if they're having a crazy party at night! You have the full right to!
    
    
    

TIPS

1. Do not get into a war with your neighbor. Don't be noisy yourself to irritate your neighbor! You are a civil person, don't get down to his/her level.
2. While waiting for the police, earplugs can be a great help in the meantime.
3. Maybe it's not your neighbors being noisy, it's you being too quiet!
   

Warnings

1. If you live in a dangerous neighborhood and your neighbors are criminals and make extremely loud sounds, don't go over there! Immediately call the police.
2. If your neighbor hurts you physically, call the police!
3. Spousal or domestic abuse should always be reported to the police. If the noise is indeed a fight the police should be called. You should only attempt to go over if you suspect someone is in immediate danger of being hurt!
   

How to Build Self Confidence

from wikiHow

You want to be confident and feel confident, but what if you're starting with little or no confidence? How do you get from Point A to Point B? True self-confidence isn't an overnight acquisition. It takes dedication to realize you are a good human being that is worthy of respect and love.

Steps

• Recognize your insecurities. What does that voice in the back of your mind say? What makes you ashamed of yourself? This could be anything from acne, to regrets, your weight, or friends at school. Whatever is making you feel unworthy, ashamed, or inferior, identify it, give it a name, and write it down.

• Don't view yourself as inferior to others. Don't walk around with the subconscious mindset that others are better or more qualified than you, whether it's related to work, school, or just socializing. To a certain degree, it's good to walk around with a feeling of superiority. However, don't take this too far, or you'll come across as a jerk.

• Talk about it with friends and loved ones. Wear it on your sleeve. Each day you should chip away at it; wear it down. There's no quick fix. Get to the root of the problem; focus on it and understand that you need to resolve each issue before you can move on.

• Remember that no one is perfect. Even the most confident people have insecurities. At some point in any of our lives, we may feel we lack something. That is reality. Learn that life is full of bumps down the road.

• Identify your successes. Everyone is good at something, so discover the things at which you excel, then focus on your talents. Give yourself permission to take pride in them. Give yourself credit for your successes. Inferiority is a state of mind in which you've declared yourself a victim. Do not allow yourself to be victimized. Express yourself, whether it's through art, music, writing, etc. Find something you enjoy. Everyone is born with talents and strengths. You can develop and excel in yours. If it's difficult to name two or three things you have some ability in or just plain love to do, think about things others do that you would like to do too and take some lessons or join an enthusiasts club. When you're following your passion, not only will it have a therapeutic effect, but you'll feel unique and accomplished, all of which can help build your self confidence. Plus, adding a variety of interests to your life will not only make you more confident, but it will increase your chances of meeting compatible friends!

• Be thankful for what you have. A lot of the times, at the root of insecurity and lack of confidence is a feeling of not having enough of something, whether it's emotional validation, good luck, money, etc. By acknowledging and appreciating what you do have, you can combat the feeling of being incomplete and unsatisfied. Finding that inner peace will do wonders for your confidence.

• Be Positive, even if you don't feel positive. Avoid self-pity, or the pity and sympathy of others. Never allow others to make you feel inferior--they can only do so if you let them. If you continue to loathe and belittle yourself, others are going to do and believe likewise. Instead, speak positively about yourself, about your future, and about your progress. Do not be afraid to project your strengths and qualities to others. By doing so, you reinforce those ideas in your mind and encourage your growth in a positive direction.

• Accept compliments gracefully. Don't roll your eyes and say, "Yeah, right," or shrug it off. Take it to heart and respond positively ("Thank you" and a smile works well).

• Look in the mirror and smile. Studies surrounding what's called the "facial feedback theory" suggest that the expressions on your face can actually encourage your brain to register certain emotions. So by looking in the mirror and smiling every day, you might feel happier with yourself and more confident in the long run. It also helps to talk to yourself in the mirror. It helps your speaking skills.

• Fake it. Along the same lines of smiling to make yourself feel happy, acting confident might actually make you believe it. Pretend you're a completely confident version of you; go through the motions and see how you feel

• Stick to your principles. It might be tough, but if you don't have something you can believe in, you don't have anything. If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything. No matter what's happened in your life, you can always lay claim to the fact that from this day forward, you've followed your principles to the best of your ability.

• Help others. When you know you're kind to the people around you, and are making a positive difference in other people's lives (even if it's just being kinder to the person who serves you coffee in the morning), you'll know that you are a positive force in the world--which will boost your self confidence. Go volunteer twice a month at an elementary school. Bake something for your neighbor for no reason. Confidence that you have earned is the most long-lasting.

• Don't Care What Other People Think You shouldn't care about what other people will think or are going to think because what's important is that you are fine with yourself and if you're fine with yourself, others will be fine with you!
  Remember If someone insults you and puts you down, just remember,that they are not perfect either.

• Look at yourself in the mirror and list all of the positive qualities that you have. Doing this every day can help to build a better self-view of yourself.

• Work hard- Keep on doing your work honestly. Have a target in your life.Focus on it. Do anything to reach that target and see how that inner feeling of confidence comes to you.
  

TIPS

• Exercise and eat healthy. Exercise raises endorphins and makes one feel happier and healthier. It is certainly an easy and effective way to boost your self-confidence.

• When you're feeling superbly insecure, write down a list of things that are good about you. Then read the list back. You'd be surprised at what you can come up with.

• Turn feelings of envy or jealousy into a desire to achieve. Stop wanting what others have just because they have it; seek things simply because you want them, whether anybody else has them or not.

• Don't be afraid to push yourself a bit - a little bit of pressure can actually show just how good you are!

• Take a wilderness experience course such as those found at Outward Bound or NOLS. Learning how to survive in the wilderness will build your confidence in other areas of life too. You can also try taking a martial arts or fitness class/course (or both). This will help build confidence and strength.

• Try to make yourself talk positively at all times. When you hear yourself saying you can't do something, stop and say you can. Unless you try, you will never know whether you are able to or not.

• Everyone is beautiful in their own way; don't let anyone tell you differently. Remember to tell yourself that you are beautiful every day; even if you don't believe it, one day you will.

• Money, luck, beauty, and all other material things are just an illusion of happiness. It misleads us to believe we will feel excellent if we have these things or have fun, but in the long run, you will discover that while these things aren't necessarily horrible, they are only mere satisfactions. You will realize having the American Eagle jacket, Nike Shoes, or an attractively rich person flirting with you is only a satisfaction, so you in the end you might feel glad you've gotten what you wanted, but you'll want more and more until you reach happiness. It'll be you just running for happiness blindly until you are worn out.

• Happiness is not all about being lucky, attractive, or the best, but rather feeling joyful in yourself, letting go of your insecurities, and having real fun. Sometimes going clubbing is also what the media tags as being the most fun thing, and it can be, but you decide what feels wonderful and happily fun. The reason people also reflect back to their childhood as "the good ole days" is because that's when being the richest or prettiest doesn't count really, and when we were able to release ourselves and have true fun, feeling happy and confident.

• Keep smiling all the time. It will help you feel more confident.

• Say what comes to your mind; since your instinct thought of it, it's probably the right thing for you. Trusting your instinct will provide you with confidence to make the right decision at the right time.

• Practice good posture. Our body posture represents what we are at that particular time. A simple habit that we can learn and implement is to stand and sit correctly. Your proper body posture will speak for you; how you stand sends out a message to the world, and in turn, back to you.

• Avoid perfectionism. Perfectionism paralyzes you and keeps you from accomplishing your goals.

• Write something on wikiHow! If you have a suggestion for anything, then share it. You will feel good for contributing, helping someone, and having your voice heard.

• It is important that you take an oath every morning that you will do wonders today. Never think negative about yourself.

• You can provide yourself with an extra measure of confidence by using the Best Me Technique of self-hypnosis to pre-experience the rewards of a long-term goal, thereby reducing or eliminating the need for "will power."

• Self confidence is also about knowledge. Improve your knowledge on subjects which you feel are interesting.

• Be true and honest to yourself. You will never be confident in yourself if you don't accept yourself and all the imperfections you may have because, although you may have imperfections, you have natural talents too. Also, you must accept the fact that you are not and never will be "perfect" but you are who you are. Finally, you may have high expectations for yourself but if you just work hard and play hard, that's all you can ask for.

• If you spend a lot of time wondering or worrying what people think of you, try focusing on something else. Dwell on a book you just read, the state of the world today, Somali pirates... or just listen to music. You will feel better, develop your personality, and look much less awkward. If you happen to glance up and catch someone's eye, smile!

• If a guy doesn't like you, don't try to be LOUD to be noticed, because most guys find it annoying. instead, keep your head up, smile, and move on because clearly the guy is missing out! Work hard and be happy.

• Just be yourself that is the best way to build self confidence you should never compare yourself to a picture or a model or someone who is rich that is what gives you a complex about yourself!

• You are awesome, no matter what people say to you. Nobody is perfect, so why bother thinking 'I'm not perfect' when no one is? Smile, have fun, do what you want. That will achieve happiness.
  

WARNINGS

• Don't get wrapped up in your mistakes and dwell on bad points; they can be a healthy contrast to your good points or even give you something to improve. There's no feeling like being good at something you were really bad at.

• Don't confuse what you have with who you are. People degrade their self worth when comparing possessions.

• Surround yourself with nurturing friends, not overly critical individuals who make you feel inadequate or insecure. This could do great harm and damage to your self confidence.

• Do not try to become confident in the sole interest of finding a partner. You will regret creating a false personality as the relationship goes along.

• It's good to have a lot of confidence, but don't build it up so much that you get egotistical and annoying.

• Lack of confidence is not necessarily a curse! So do not worry. Many ignorant, fanatic and maniac people are confident but is that desirable? No. Building self confidence should be associated with simultaneous growth from within. Thus by overcoming pettiness and superficiality you can build unshakable self confidence [Cf: Conceptual Stress: Dr. Shriniwas Kashalikar].

• Do not mistake being loud and cocky as confidence. Often this is just a way of somebody with lots of insecurities to cover it up, therefore not being confident at all. Confidence is being happy with yourself and not allowing what other people think of you to affect you, you should only care about what you think of yourself.

• Don't get suckered into thinking ads like the one at the end of this wikiHow are a quick fix. No one can sell you a magic solution to make you self confident, you need to prove yourself to yourself.

• Don't put yourself down around others to receive compliments and reassurances of your worth. This will lead you to believe that people are only complimenting you because they feel sorry for you, and it will only hurt your confidence in the long run. Wait for a sincere compliment, accept it, and remember it.